EVE #1: How are you ever going to publish novels if you keep spending too much time online?
EVE #2: But going online is fun! I’m learning about all kinds of books I’d like to read, and I love talking with other book lovers and writers.
EVE #1: Seriously, though, as soon as you progress to a point where you might actually complete a really good novel–as in ready to send out to agents–you get distracted and start spending more time online. What’s up with that?
EVE #2: Yeah, what IS up with that? I think I may have a fear of success.
EVE #1: Fear of succe–what even is that? . . . Okay, here. . . Susanne Babbel, Ph.D., M.F.T., could you please tell us what you wrote on Psychology Today about fear of success?
Susan Babbel, Ph.D., M.F.T.: “People who have experienced trauma may associate the excitement of success with the same physiological reactions as trauma. They avoid subjecting themselves to excitement-inducing circumstances, which causes them to be almost phobic about success.”
EVE #2: Whoah, that’s deep. Is anyone else finding it difficult to ignore that “Babbel” is a hilarious surname for someone who probably engages in a lot of talk therapy?
EVE #1: Focus, Eve. You’ve been through trauma. It’s something to keep in mind. You don’t want it to hold you back from your dreams.
EVE #2: Alright, I will definitely keep it in mind. Now. . . I have an admission to make.
EVE #1: Uh-oh.
EVE#2: I think today might have been first.
EVE #1: A first? So you made good headway on the novel?
EVE #2: A little. But, nope, this is about headway I made on someone else’s novel. . .
EVE #1: So you’re reading other books? That’s great. They say reading lots of novels makes you a better—
EVE #2: Better writer, blah-blah. Listen. . . today I may have made my first book purchase based purely on the gorgeousness of the author.
EVE #1: You bought a book because the guy in the picture was cute?
EVE#2: Sort of, well. . . definitely. He had great hair and looked really clean. He was wearing a sexy winter coat, and his face had this perfect expression between serious and smiling. And he was on the chubby side —you know how I love those teddy bear guys.
EVE #1: Care to tell us who it was?
EVE #2: No way!
EVE #1: So you bought this guy’s book? You just went and bought it based purely on his looks?
EVE #2: Well, I read the excerpt first.
EVE #1: And you’re probably HOPING his writing is as “cute” as his looks.
EVE #2: I cannot disagree with that statement.
–Eve Messenger
Eve Messenger 
Interestingly, I’m reading a book right now (Mindset by Carol S Dweck) that makes a big point on a similar subject, although she doesn’t do it as entertainingly as a conversation with herself. Dweck talks about how sometimes we don’t reach for success because we don’t want to face the crushing sense of failure if we can’t achieve it to the level we see in our mind’s eye. That causes us to avoid trying. But, maintain the growth mindset! Go for it! Remember what happens if you don’t… (Nothing).
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“Maintain the growth mindset.” I really like how you put that, Jon, and I believe it’s exactly what I’m trying to do. Because quitting is not an option.
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i have academic performance anxiety and this is such a real thing.
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Seriously, Lila, I have TERRIBLE stage fright. I’ve tried everything, but can’t tell you how many times, no matter how well-prepared, I’ve gotten up onstage and Completely Forgotten Everything due to nerves. Just writing about this makes my palms sweat. (:
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aw, i’m sorry. that stinks 😦
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You gave me my laugh for today in an insightful way. I don’t fear success–exactly. But I do hate the thought that if someday a publisher picks me up, I’ll have to promote my book. That means getting out in public and talking about it. I’d rather stay in my writer’s cave and just write. 🙂
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Ah, the bliss of hanging out in our writing caves. 🙂
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My favorite place to be. 🙂
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Ha ha! I love this. Too much time online? Is that possible?? Oh, there is a battle raging between two Eves! You will be fine and get bored soon enough online and crack on working. As for the book, yeah! Go for it, another sound reason to treat yourself to a new book. Cross your fingers and hope that it might be little bit good as well.
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Hahaha, “another sound reason for treating myself to a new book.” That cracked me up, Annika.
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This was really fun to read!
I admit, I did stop and really think about the trauma part. (Can’t help it–professional quirk.) I had a client say to me recently: “I can’t tell if I’m anxious-nervous or anxious-excited. It feels the same, and I don’t think I like this feeling.” Never really thought about the possible connection to trauma. Ok, sorry to go all serious on you!
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Thank you! That’s great to hear. I sure had fun writing it. 😀
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And feel free to go all serious on me anytime. I truly appreciate it.
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